August 26, 2024
By the Golden Gate

This is a personal story about the author's experience of losing a child and the healing process that followed. Despite the pain and grief, the author finds solace in the belief that their child is in heaven and is finally able to be their mom.

By: 

K.G. Munro

[Original Post Date: June 22, 2022]

Future plans we could have had,
For a while I was angry, and sad,
Losing a child is horrific
But, I survived it
Indeed, I lived a good life
This is my story,
Of that time.

The day, my life did change,
I was pregnant, and I didn't know what to say,
But, the longer I knew the more I felt this child inside of me,
It's every breath and heartbeat,
Over the course of weeks, I made plans,
I had sonograms, I had dreams of my life,
With my baby.
The sun blazed through the bathroom window that day,
Everything was perfect.

A storm brewed on this morning,
Instead of the coffee I usually make,
I woke up with cramps,
Staring at the sonogram I had,
Waiting for this pain and the rain to pass,
But, after three hours it didn't,
That's when I felt it,
Like a knife, chopping up my insides,
Dropping the sonogram, I cried,
Running to the bathroom,
Thunder outside, I felt it,
Blood poured down my thighs,
A red wave took my baby away,
Every image my mind had created,
They began to fade, as quickly as they came,
Screaming I did,
Scratching at my thighs, trying to feel it,
To save it, but it was useless,
My baby was dead.

It took years to heal from that experience,
Some days were unbearable others I survived,
I kept the sonogram, never had any other kids,
I knew in my heart that I couldn't go through that again,
So, I worked and lived in my apartment,
Until, it was time to return to my father,
In Heaven my soul ascended to,
Memories were slipping,
Until, I heard a voice call for me in the distance,
Amongst the white warm clouds,
And echoes of angels singing
My heart did race,
I saw a man holding a baby by the golden gate,
It was God, He had my child,
Running I did until I finally met with my son,
I'll never forget his beautiful little face
Now, I can finally be his mom.